21 REASONS WHY I'M NOT A MARRIAGE MATERIAL !!

I am at a point in my life where everyone is getting married - my friends, cousins, neighbors and I am here like what should I eat now or what should I wear for their wedding. I ain't going anywhere in life.

 After a certain age your parents and relatives starts pressuring you to get married and I am no exception to that.  I understand that to a 26 yr old single  girl, you don't know what else to ask and I get it.

So Mom, Dad, Uncles, Aunts and everyone else, please grab a chair and I will tell you the following reasons why I can't get married :

• I am not the marrying kind!!

• I am still a kid and not ready to get married. I still watch "The Suite life of Zack & Cody", "Hannah Montana", "Tom & Jerry", & "The Elephant Princess". So my concept of reality is different. I still believe that one day a magical elephant will appear and take me to my kingdom where I'm the "Magical Princess".

• Another thing is after marriage the bride is draped in  Saree forever. I own so many clothes like crop tops, skirts, shorts & dresses. What about these clothes then. I can't just give them to someone else. That's way too much to ask for. And if I have to cover myself from top to bottom, then I would wear a  sack instead. Believe me, it's the same thing.

• The most shocking thing is the bride has to cover her face with the saree. I can't do that because I'm too cute to hide my face. 

• I believe that one day when "Ranbir Kapoor" will see me , he will fall in love with me and we will live happily ever after. And until that happens I ain't going anywhere.

• I haven't completed my bucket list yet. I have priorities in life.

• If we are going to get married then you better have two bedrooms, because I don't share my bed and closet. I like to sleep in the middle of my bed like a Queen. So get out,  there's no space for you in here.

•  People hit on me all the time and I enjoy flirting with them. And if you can't handle that then I'm sorry we can't get married. Its not my fault that I'm adorable.

• I'm a big Foodie. I love food more than people. The most important thing about me is "I DON'T SHARE FOOD". And if you ever touch my food, I will have to divorce you.

• And there are many other reasons like I have commitment issues, trust  issues, anger issues, emotional issues, etc.

• On the wedding day the bride has to wear a outfit which is probably like  60 kg. I can't not even walk in heels properly. I wear converse and still manage to trip over things that aren't there. What if I fall on someone and crush them. Mom Dad I'm saving you all the money.

• Annoying thing that couples do is they hold each others hands and look into their eyes. Now that's way too much attachment for me. I don't know why but it kinda feels weird and freaks me out.

• I want to be a free bird. Feel the wind in my hair, travel around the world, find myself, take adventure trips and most importantly live my life like I want.

• I haven't made enough mistakes yet. So, I can't surrender for marriage.

• I sleep till noon on weekends. So I can't get up early and make breakfast for everyone. That's just not me.

• I have a big appetite. So when we go out, you should not be embarrassed just because I gobbled all your food too. 

• I would rather die than know the difference between Ivory & Eggshell. How am I suppose to plan my wedding then.

• When I go to a wedding, I try to picture myself in their shoes, but aside from the drinks and the food, I fail to understand the whole point of marriage.

• They say you only get two great love in a lifetime. And I have already found them - Shah Rukh Khan & Ranbir Kapoor. How am I suppose to love you then?

• I love shoes more than people. You know an average woman falls in love seven times a year and six times are with shoes. And I belong to that category. "Forget the Prince, Keep the shoes" is what I would have said to Cinderella.

• And the last one, I believe in "Don't Marry, Travel instead".

     Hope you enjoy it!!

     Kisses,
     Anokkhi.

WHY I'M SINGLE

Dear World, family and friends,

 You don't need to feel sad for me because I'm single, for the following reasons:

I dislike "ROMANTIC STUFF". Like once in a while, a romantic gesture is nice but all the time, no that's not acceptable. I don't like receiving gifts that often. Like every time we meet, you give flowers,chocolates and cards. and now I have so many cards that I can open my own Archies gallery. So don't do it because you're creating more problems for me. And once in a blue moon roses are great but every month, that's just too much and now you are destroying the Eco-system.

And don't even get me started on romantic cheesy lines. Everyone likes to be complimented but you don't have to continuously say it every time that I'm pretty. I get it you are trying to be nice, but I kind of believe in my own beauty. I know I'm pretty, you don't have to say it after every two lines. I am not one of those who needs to be constantly validated by you. I don't need your approval on how do I look. 

The most weird thing is when guys act like they can protect me and pay for my stuff and they are strong and they can look after me.And I am here standing  like I'm good, I have been taking care of myself all these years. So don't act like my parents because I already have one.

I am the worst girlfriend that anyone could ever have because I'm really bad at relationships. One month anniversary!! who celebrates that. It's just been four weeks. How can you even call it an anniversary. One year anniversary is fine. I understand that you have been together for the whole year and both of them are alive, now that is an achievement  and the reason to celebrate. So don't you dare come up to me and say "Happy one month anniversary", I will break your head because its ridiculous.

It's just only me or even you feel the same way, when people are in relationships, they constantly make you feel they need you, just like that. I feel you should not need anyone to function. The worst part is when a guy says that he cannot live without me. Dude!! I'm your girlfriend and not your respiratory system. So stop overacting and move on.

Another thing that couples do, what they think is cute, is staying up all night and talking on phone for hours and I am here like Nah!! I cant do such stupid things. That's way too much attachment for me. Calling in the middle of the night and saying "I miss you". And I think you are missing some damn common sense. I am not available 24/7. Because you know what, night is for sleeping and not for "chit-chat". So shut up and go to sleep. There's nothing romantic in being interrupted while sleeping.

Its hard to find out a guy who is smart, good looking and decent. I don't know what is wrong with me, but all the people that hit on me are either married, Stalker, creepy or younger than me. Its not my fault that I'm single.

Once, one of my friends said that there are so many guys out there, just look for one. My dear friend I don't know where I will find these guys but if the market is really flooded with guys, I will take one for my BFF also.

Plus there are other reasons also like

• I have trust issues,
• I don't like to share my food,
• I will cancel our plans for my BFF,
• I don't have to worry about texting all the time,
• I will not have dark circles because I can sleep peacefully at night.
• I don't have to worry about my looks all the time.
• I don't have to be in shape just for you.

That's all.

Yeah, that's really why I am single, because I'm horrifying!!

Hope you like it.

Kisses, 
Anokkhi.