WHY I'M SINGLE

Dear World, family and friends,

 You don't need to feel sad for me because I'm single, for the following reasons:

I dislike "ROMANTIC STUFF". Like once in a while, a romantic gesture is nice but all the time, no that's not acceptable. I don't like receiving gifts that often. Like every time we meet, you give flowers,chocolates and cards. and now I have so many cards that I can open my own Archies gallery. So don't do it because you're creating more problems for me. And once in a blue moon roses are great but every month, that's just too much and now you are destroying the Eco-system.

And don't even get me started on romantic cheesy lines. Everyone likes to be complimented but you don't have to continuously say it every time that I'm pretty. I get it you are trying to be nice, but I kind of believe in my own beauty. I know I'm pretty, you don't have to say it after every two lines. I am not one of those who needs to be constantly validated by you. I don't need your approval on how do I look. 

The most weird thing is when guys act like they can protect me and pay for my stuff and they are strong and they can look after me.And I am here standing  like I'm good, I have been taking care of myself all these years. So don't act like my parents because I already have one.

I am the worst girlfriend that anyone could ever have because I'm really bad at relationships. One month anniversary!! who celebrates that. It's just been four weeks. How can you even call it an anniversary. One year anniversary is fine. I understand that you have been together for the whole year and both of them are alive, now that is an achievement  and the reason to celebrate. So don't you dare come up to me and say "Happy one month anniversary", I will break your head because its ridiculous.

It's just only me or even you feel the same way, when people are in relationships, they constantly make you feel they need you, just like that. I feel you should not need anyone to function. The worst part is when a guy says that he cannot live without me. Dude!! I'm your girlfriend and not your respiratory system. So stop overacting and move on.

Another thing that couples do, what they think is cute, is staying up all night and talking on phone for hours and I am here like Nah!! I cant do such stupid things. That's way too much attachment for me. Calling in the middle of the night and saying "I miss you". And I think you are missing some damn common sense. I am not available 24/7. Because you know what, night is for sleeping and not for "chit-chat". So shut up and go to sleep. There's nothing romantic in being interrupted while sleeping.

Its hard to find out a guy who is smart, good looking and decent. I don't know what is wrong with me, but all the people that hit on me are either married, Stalker, creepy or younger than me. Its not my fault that I'm single.

Once, one of my friends said that there are so many guys out there, just look for one. My dear friend I don't know where I will find these guys but if the market is really flooded with guys, I will take one for my BFF also.

Plus there are other reasons also like

• I have trust issues,
• I don't like to share my food,
• I will cancel our plans for my BFF,
• I don't have to worry about texting all the time,
• I will not have dark circles because I can sleep peacefully at night.
• I don't have to worry about my looks all the time.
• I don't have to be in shape just for you.

That's all.

Yeah, that's really why I am single, because I'm horrifying!!

Hope you like it.

Kisses, 
Anokkhi.